Akatsuki, Tanuki, and Kyubi! oh my!
by Omoi-ame
Summary: The Akatsuki invite Naruto and Gaara into the group, but do they know what they're getting themselves into? When you put an evil teen gang, a giant raccoon dog, and a nine tailed fox together.................you get insanity!
1. Chapter 1

**Akatsuki, tanuki, and kyubi ! (oh my)  
**The Akatsuki invite Naruto and Gaara into the group, but do they know what they're getting themselves into? When you put an evil teen gang, a giant raccoon dog, and a nine tailed fox together...you get insanity!!!!!!!!!! A collection of short stories about the doomed Akatsuki, the loveless sand demon, and everyone's favorite color-blind ninja! (No pairings have been decided yet, tell me what you want!!!!!)

**Ch. 1: When insanity strikes!**

When insanity strikes, it brings with it chaos and doom. It was happening to the

Akatsuki right this second...

"Please welcome our new members..." Itachi Uchiha announced to the less than

enthusiastic group of teenage stereotypes in black robes. Two spiky-haired boys walked

into the room, one was blond, the other a red-head. The blond had markings on his face

like whiskers, while the red-head had a tattoo on his forehead that read "love". " This is

Naruto Uzumaki and Sabaku no Gaara... make them feel at home... or something."

"Ooh, ooh!!! Pick me! Pick me!!!!!!! I wanna do it! Me!!!! Un!", a young boy with

long blond hair shouted.

"Huh, yes, Diedara?" Itachi asked the boy.

"YAY!!!!!!!!!!! That's a Bang!!!! Introduction time!!!!!!!! Un!" shouted the only hyper one in the

room. " Ok, ok, that weird red-eyed dude is Itachi!", this statement had Itachi ready to sock

Diedara, but luckily Kisame stopped him, " and that fishy guy who stopped Itachi from killing me

is Kisame!!!" Diedara said with a smile, "Oh, and this is my partner, Sasori! He's a weird puppet

guy! Un! And that crazy plant-split personality- guy is Zetsu, he's REALLY weird, take it from

me...", said Diedara, forgetting to whisper, "The religious dude is Hidan, he's immortal, so you

can't kill him, and his partner is a weirdo greedy zombie man, Kakuzu!!!" It seemed the only

thing Diedara could do was anger all of her teammates. " By the way, the gray-never-shows-

himself dude is our leader, along with the blue haired person who we never get to see...

hhmm, Oh yeah! I almost forgot, I'm Diedara!!!! Un!"

Awkward silence... Diedara stared nervously at the guests, " Um,...UN?!"

"Believe it!!!!!"

" . . . "

"...OK!" replied the much too hyper Diedara to Naruto and Gaara. The poor unsuspecting

Akatsuki had no idea the insanity struck their little gang that day. One can only wait for the chaos

and doom to break out...

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**Author's note: **Ha ha!!!!! The poor, poor, unsuspecting Akatsuki!!! What doom shall befall

them?! Tis is my first ever fanfiction... EVER... tell me some advice ok? I'm

hoping for at LEAST 3 reviews, or something... do you want me to continue?????????

"CH.2: Initiation"


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, in this one I made a few changes do to the helpful reviews :  
Now I've improved my spelling/ irritating quotes;  
Diedara Deidara ( how you really spell his name)  
"Believe it!" "Dattebayo!" ( less annoying )

**--------------------------------------------------------------------  
Ch. 2: Initiation**

"Ok, the first order of business is the group initiation!" the ominous

'gray-never-shows-himself dude' as Deidara so quaintly put it said. "

Ok, so you know every time we have a drawing to see who will come

up with a challenge for each new member. Today it will be, drum roll

please…", a random drum out of no where rolls across the floor.

Everyone stared anxiously, especially Naruto and Gaara…….. ok, just

Naruto, Gaara just stared. Who would be their opponent? Who would

deal out their punishments? Would they torture them? Would they make

them listen to Paris Hilton's cd? Or worse, the most dreaded of all

torturements know to man……Educational Television?!?! They could

only wait for the raffle to be reviled. Every _minute_, every _second_, every _single_ one going by_ slower_ than the nex….

"OH JUST GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!"

(Um…; ok, ok……..)

"……… And the tortu…I mean , 'winners' are, Deidara and

Hidan!!!!!!!" Leader announced dully. Deidara sprang up and cheered

loudly, while Hidan sat and plotted out what type of initiation would be

worthy of the Akatsuki. Naruto and Gaara just stared, wonder what

type of punishment the overly hyper Deidara and the egotistical Hidan

could cook up, and more importantly, who would get who?

"Ok, Deidara, you get Gaara, Hidan, that means you have Naruto!"

Leader said, extinguishing all doubt in the soon to be new members

minds, that is, 'soon to be' if they passed the initiation….. (dun, dun, DUN!!!!!!)  
-------------------------

"OK!!!!!!" Deidara yelled to the mob of the black clocked teens of the

Akatsuki. "Now, Let's get this party started!!! For mister creepy

eyeliner dude, I choose . . . . . . . . . . KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he

shouted proudly, thinking he choose a truly difficult task.

"Huhhhhhhhh, alright, shoulda' known he would have chosen something

stupid, huh, Gaara what song will you be singing?" Leader inquired with

as much reluctance as Deidara had hyper ness.

"I will be singing, 'Demon' (by Entombed)"

Demon, come live in me

possession, fill me with disease

temptation, a fire set aflame

feral instincts help me go insane

Shameless, searching endlessly

to appease the burning urge in me

hunger of a thousand wolverines

satisfaction by any means

Demon, replace all I've been taught

impulse, erase all second thought

gambling in this carnal game

nothing is all where everything's the same

Trembling in the balance

exploring new extremes

all sweet forms of self-destruction

coming to me in my dreams

Thoughts of cruelty and pain

in my brain - in my blood

lose control of lust and anger

"………………….. WHOOHOO!!!!!!!! THAT"S A BANG!!!!

UN!!!", screamed Deidara as he acted like a teenage fan girl. The rest

were just shocked that Gaara, _Garra,_ sang, and sang good!

"WOW! sniff, that was so touching…", " No it wasn't!", Zetsu argued

between himself.

The some-what shocked Leader got up on stage( didn't know the

Akatsuki had one?) "Um, ooookay……… I guess we should hear from

our judges now….. Simon.. I mean Itachi?"

Itachi ( Simon) replied as always, "That was terrible just terrible. It made

me want to go kill someone……….. You get an 8"

Deidara ( Paula) came back with, " UN!!! You were tres magnific'!!

And I love your hair!!!……10!!"

Kisame ( Randy) said, " Look dawg (raccoon dog), that sawng was

tight! I could tell it

came from the heart,…… I'll give you a 9."

"Ok, and so you know what that means!!!! You're the next Ameri… I

mean, Akatsuki member!!!!!!!" Leader announced to the indifferent

Gaara. " Now onto Naruto, Hidan, will you please tell us the challenge

you have thought up for Naruto? And it better not be reading from the

bible again….." Leader said as Gaara left the stage and was replaced

with Naruto and Hidan.

" Pheww," Naruto said under his breath, relived, " if that's the kind of

thing this guy comes up with, this'll be no problem! Dattebayo!!!"

"Oh, don't worry, someone as great as me could come up with a

hundred great tasks!!! And reading from the bible is difficult, you need

to get the emotion and theme of it just right, but this time I've come up

with something truly worthy!!! Naruto Uzumaki, you must go on a

quest………………… to defeat Satin!!!!!!!"

"….Wwhhhaaaaaaaaatttt?!?!" Naruto screeched, " B-but, but-"

"Ok, then it's settled, Naruto will go on the quest tomorrow!" Leader

suggested to the group. " If he can not defeat Satin, then he's unworthy

of the Akatsuki!!!"

"B-b-but, but- but-b-but…………Wah?!", Naruto stammered, " Gaara

got to_ sing_ and_ I_ have to defeat the devil????!!!!!!DATTEBYO!!!!!!!!!"

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author's Note:** HAHAHA!!!!!! Bet you never thought Gaara was a rock star?! And since when did Itachi speak in a British accent? And why is Kisame talkin' gangsta'? Why is Deidara using French anyway? I don't know, I was just bored….. Poor Naruto, good luck on your quest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TT

**Ch.3 : Speak of the Devil!!! **


	3. Chapter 3

WOW! I'm a lot better writer than I thought I was….. It seems that miracles really DO happen, people like my writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & I shall not let them down on with the story:

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**CH.3: Speak of the Devil!!!**

The sun was rising over the Japanese country side, a miraculous

sight….. A lone traveler stood on the path, with all of his friends there to

wish him goodbye and good luck. A touching seen as the lone blond,

looking back sorrowfully, started to make his leave. His friends calling to him…..

"BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!! NARUTO!!"

" I hope you don't die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"……."

" I'll wait for you my Fishcake!!!! UN!! sob, sob…"

"Remember to stop at the market! We're out of milk, Naruto!!!"

" Satin will probably eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As Naruto took his leave, the lone sound of Deidara crying and acting

like he's in a sad love movie was all to be heard. He ran, unable to

contain the sadness of leaving his friends, not knowing if he would make

it back, and wondering if he had enough money to buy milk………………

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An hour had passed since the tearful ( for Deidara anyway) departure of

Naruto Uzumaki. Everyone sat around, not having anything to do,

except think of their friend who had probably gotten eaten already.

"Waaaahhhhhh!!!!! NARU-KUNNNNN!!!!" Deidara whined. " He was my bestest friend eber!!!!"

" You only knew him for about 15 minutes……" replied Gaara, still indifferent to the whole thing.

" Well, that's all the time we _needed_!!! It was meant to be!!!! We shared a special bond!!! Wwahhhhahhhah!"

"…. yeah, you're both hyper-active blonds that repeat their motto's too much….."

" You see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? _'Meant to be!_'", Deidara complained,

" Oh, my dear friend Fishcake! Un! What ever shall I do with out you?! Oh! I know, I'll sing a song!! UN!"

On top of rammen all covered with cheese.  
I lost my poor fishcake when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor,  
And then my poor fishcake rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden and under a bush,  
And then my poor fishcake was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,  
And early next summer it grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.  
It grew great big fishcakes and rammen sauce.

So if you eat ramen all covered with cheese,  
Hold on to your fishcake and don't ever sneeze

" sniff, snifffff…….. I -I _did_ lose my poor Fishcake, w-w-w-w- wahah! Un!"

"………………SHUT UP……………….."

----------------------------------------------------

About 1 minute after Deidara sang his song……………………..

" WHAT? I- I think I can see, no it can't be, but_ yes_ it is!!!! It's my

Fishcake!!!!!!!!! UN!!!" yelled Deidara as he spotted Naruto off in the

distance. They ran to each other, arms outstretched, laughing and crying

at the same time. They embraced each other in the dim light, the sun

setting behind them. The song of the violins played in the background,

adding to the truly sappy and kind of disturbing seen.

"…. why are they moving in slow motion? And _who_ is playing the violin?!" Itachi inquired.

"um, I think it's Zetsu…….." Kisame replied. They looked over and, sure enough, Zetsu was playing " Beethoven's 3rd"

" We're off key!", "No we are NOT!!!"

"……………………………...", Itachi stared, " Whatever, so, Naruto, how did you defeat the devil so quickly?"

"Huh? Oh, that! Yah, well, you know how I do….." he said with a

smile. ( He never really _did_ defeat Satin, he just stopped by the market

and got milk. Though, the cash register guy _did_ give him some trouble……………….)

"….. Yeah, well, I guess we'll tell Leader that you're in….."

That day was a day to remember! The sad departure of a loved friend,

Deidara's new song, and when Naruto Uzumaki bought milk……………………………

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**Author's Note:** Ahh yes, that day shall go down in history!!!! Hope you liked it!!! BTW; all I did to the spaghetti song was replace spaghetti with rammen, and meatball with fishcake…….

**CH.4: It's what's Inside that counts**


	4. Chapter 4

Ha, ha! Wowy,! Seriously! I NEVER thought it would be popular……. It's almost a little over whelming…………………………….. Well, I had this idea in my head for a while, just thought I should put in here….. Wadda'ya' think?

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**CH.4: It's what's Inside that counts**

"Ok, now that the new members have passed initiation, _boy_ didn't see

_that_ comin', huh, Well, right, Akatsuki team meeting night will be hosted

by,………….., oh no, _DEIDARA_!!!!!!!!" Leader groaned as he did

another raffle for who would host the meeting. You all know what that

means, insanity……..

"UN! That's a Bang!" Deidara shouted as he leapt on the stage. " ARE YOU READY TO ROCK DA HOUSE?!"

"Dattebayo!"

"……"

" OK! Today's topic shall be……………………. Dr. Phil!" He

announced with pride. "And first up, will be our new members! Will you

please come up Mr. Uzumaki, and Mr. Sabaku……."As Gaara and

Naruto came up on stage, Deidara put out some chairs, and a sign that

said " Dr. Dei". Once they were seated, Dr. Dei started, " Hello, know, if you'd be so kind as to tell me your names…"

"What? You already know who we…"Gaara started to complain.

" Your_ names_ please…"

" This is stupid, I know You_ know_ who We are!!!"

" I'm sorry, I'm afraid we've never met before Gaara, I need to know your name."

"What the- you _just_ said my name!"

" Sir, if you will not cooperate, I'm will have to call security."

" Huhrrrrrrrrrh! My name is GAARA!!!!!!"

"Thank you. And you, sir?"

"Dattebayo!!!"

"Ahh, thank you Mr. Dattebayo, now we may begin", Dr. Dei replied,

"How about we start with talking about our _feelings_? Would you like to go first Mr. Gaara?"

" I feel like killing you….."

" I _see_, and have you ever had any _problems_ with me?"

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your stupid nick names, that ridiculous song

about fishcakes, and basically being a _moron_ and asking my name when you _already _know!!!"

"Hm, and how does that make you _feel_……?"

Gaara just sits there, petrified with hate,twitching, all the while murmuring

under his breath, " Rrrh, yes, yes mother, I _will_ kill this one, MUST kill…………."

Dr. Dei continued with asking Naruto, "It's your turn, Mr. Dattebayo."

" Well, it all started," began Naruto, putting on sad face, " when I was 2,

I learned my_ very_ first word then, 'believe it' and had been saying it ever

since. But then, people started to get mad at me for always saying it, and

have attempted murder. Lately, I've been going to the Konaha

Therapist. She suggested that I switch to a new saying, and I did! ' Dattebayo!!!!!'" he told with ever- changing emotion.

"…….. I _see_, so your saying that ever since you were little, you've had

problems with others, others who do not see your life worth… am I

right?" Dr. Dei said understandingly. The audience just stared, Who had

abducted hyper-active Deidara with this deep- look -a- like……………………….. And how could they make the switch permanent?!

" Yah! Dattebayo!!!!"

" Well, I _personally_ think it's what's _Inside_ that counts. It doesn't

matter if you have red hair, ( Gaara- kill, kill, kill…….) Have a weird

tattoo on your forehead, ( Gaara- MUST kill……..) Or even use too

much eyeliner…( Gaara- should I use a knife, or a bat?….) It's all about _you_! What kind of _person_ you are, and what's _inside_ of you!"

The crowd clapped, " Wow, that was so inspiring!……………………… I think I'm gonna puke…."

Naruto gladly replied, " Inside me, is a Nine-tailed-demon-fox-spirit! It gives me chackra if I beg!!!!"

Gaara, who had recovered from his decision on killing Deidara ( he

decided that he'd wait until he went to sleep, and then blame it on

Zetsu) actually had something to say to this, " Inside me, there's a

giant sand tanuki ( raccoon dog) that fills my head with murderous

intent and makes me loose all sanity. Not to mention, I can never sleep

because he'll eat me. He also acts like a drunk four year old…… he's

very annoying, and has made me feared and hated by all. Ever since I

turned 6, many people have been trying to assassinate me just for being who they made me to be………."

"……………………………..." Everyone stares………………………

Awkward silence………………………………...

Dr. Dei, " And how dose that make you _feel_?……………….." ( Gaara- kill, kill, kill……)

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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Dei!!!! I love this one, I don't know why I've thought of it for a while now, tell me what you think………..

**CH.5: Confesions of Akatsuki Drama King**


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING!: MAY BE SPORILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN NARUTO SHIPPUDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WARNED YOU!!!!!

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

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**CH.5: Confessions of Akatsuki Drama King**

Leader has set aside a special story slot just for the new members, so

they can express their feelings about the Akatsuki………………. You know this gonna' go down bad………..

----------------

Narrator: Our first member is Sabaku no Gaara, the red-headed-love tattooed-eyeliner wearing-wants to kill Deidara- Guy

Gaara- "Hello……….. My name is Gaara………… and I'm going to

be telling you all of my thoughts about this organization, the

Akatsuki……………First off, I don't like how truly annoying that guy

Deidara can be, and, I mean, why should I like him?! In the

anime/manga the dude kills me, _KILLS ME_!!!!!!! Know, I ask, how in

the world, why in the world, am I supposed to like him? HUH? He even

made me do karaoke! _Me_?! _KARAOKE_?! And what's with that " on

top of rammen" song anyway? It's just stupid………………He only

knew Naruto for 15 minutes, _15 MINUTES PEOPLE_!!!!!!!! When I

knew Naruto for 15 minutes, I thought he was a looser! _15 _

_MINUTES_!!!!! Know, I don't mean to offend any Deidara lovers here

but, _REALLY!!! _Oh, and don't even get me started on the whole 'Dr.

Dei' thing!…………. Rrrrrhhhhh!!!! Does he have, like, short-term

memory loss, or some thing???!!! Is it just me, or what?!

……………………………. Oh yeah, and while I'm thinking about

it……………………. WHY?! WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY pair me up

with Lee?! _LEE_?!!!??? I mean the guy's like-

Narrator: Um, this is ONLY about the Akatsuki, Gaara! You can talk to the fans some other time………

Gaara- " What?………. Oh, I see, you're a GaaraxLee fan too! AREN'T YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator: " Whaaaaa? NO I'M _NOT_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaara- "Don't you lie to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator: " Look, Gaara I- wha-what are you doing, no…….NO! Hurry and go to Naruto!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------------------------------

Some random person from the studio: Um……….. Hi………… Gaara

kinda' almost killed our narrator………………. She'll be out of the

hospital in about 3-5 weeks, so I'm filling in for her…………………. My name's Lexi……………. Um, wow, I've never been on air before,….. This _so_ exciting!

Naruto- Um EXCUSSE ME?! It's me we're supposed to be talking with!!!!

Lexi: Oh! R-right, ok, tell us what you think of the Akatsuki.

Naruto- Wwweeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllll, I personally think-

-----------------------

I'm sorry We're having technical difficulties at the moment, please stay tuned in, we will be working on the problems as best we can, during your wait, please enjoy the following:

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( "Wasting time" song, on Ned's)

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

WE'RE WASTING ALL YOUR TIME!

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

LOT'S AND LOT'S OF TIME!

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

WE'RE WASTING ALL YOUR TIME!

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

LOT'S AND LOT'S OF TIME!

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

WE'RE WASTING ALL YOUR TIME!

LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

LOT'S AND LOT'S OF TIME!

LOT'S OF TIME !!!!!

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We apologize for any inconveniency, and/or head trauma from the time away from your regularly scheduled program, please continue:

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" And _that's_ exactly what I, Naruto Uzumaki, think of the teen-stereotyped-black-cloak-wearing-gang, the Akatsuki!!!"

Lexi: "Wow! That was _THE_ best interview EVER!!!!!!!!!! MAN!!!!

YOU ARE KING OF TALK SHOWS!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA SHOW

THIS TO _OPRAH_!!!!! OH MY _GOD_!!!!!!!"

Naruto- " Why, thank you. I must say, I _am_ quite good at speeches…"

Lexi: " OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I bow down to your superiority!!!!!……………….. Oh, yeah, that's all the time we had! And to all those

out there that didn't get to this God of speeches, _SHAME ON _

_YOU_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm serious, it was awesome!!"

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**A/N:**Umhm! Naruto's speech was the best I ever heard in my life!!!! BTW if you don't know the " Wasting time" song, it's on Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide!.:**P.S.** For all those who wonder why Dei-kun calls Naru-kun "Fishcake", it's because "Naruto" means "Fishcake", k?…………………..haven't thought of it yet…………..

**CH.6:** ... ? Haven't thought of it...


	6. Chapter 6

What happens when they find the world of fandom? Nothing good I can tell you that!

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

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**CH.:6: Our Biggest Fans!!!!**

**Part:**1 Computers

"Dattebayo!!! I just got a computer!", Naruto announced excitedly, " There's a new shop in town! It's called Best Buys! I even got some things called DVD's! Dattebayo! And CD's!!! This is so totally………………… Dattebayo!" Everyone crowded around as Naruto hooked up their new computer. They reveled in awe at the new-age-yet-some-how-old-technology that is the computer!

"Heeeyy", Kakauzu said with a hint of suspicion in his voice, " just how much money did you pay for this thing anyway, Naruto?!"

"Oh, only $400, the guy at the cash register said it was a real catch! Dattebayo!"

"WWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????!!!!!!!!!!", cried Kakuzu in dismay at just how naiveté Naruto was to pay $400 for a computer,_ completely_ spending all money the Akatsuki had left.

"OOHHH! UN! Looky, looky!! A 'world wide web'! That must be some bid spider!"

" Hey! Let's go online! What ever that is!!!!!!!"

" I wanna see! Let me through!!!"

"……………."

"Ok, ok! Let's see, 'www. Hey! They have videos! Cool! Let's search Naruto!!!!!"

…………..internet connecting to…………… site found, waiting for reply……….…..**GOOGLE**: VIDEO SEARCH: NARUTO, **1 - 10 of about 275,848 (0.035 s)**……

"Un! Hey what's this 'Naruto Randomness 4' thing? Let's watch it!

( copy & paste on google to watch)

-----------------------------

_After watching..._

"……………..", Itachi stared with murderous intent, eye twitching, sharingan activate, at the horrid computer. " I - WILL - KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"…….Un?", Deidara said, a look of confusion on his face, " I-I'm…….. a GIRL?" Deidara, full of no answers, fell to floor, hugging her…I mean _his_ knees.

The group was silent for awhile. Shocked and horrified at what they had just seen. Was Deidara a girl? Did Zetsu really have an army of vegetable men? Had Choji really fulfilled the childhood dream of all and saw Willy Wonka ? Did Itachi _REALLY_ dance like Tom Cruise?!

"Uh…………. Um, maybe we should go somewhere else….", suggested Naruto, the others early agreeing. " Hmm, 'www. fan fiction .net' huh, looks safe enough…. Um, ok, 'search'…….. Who should we search for?"

"Uh, how about………. Oh! HEY! There's an 'Ask Akatsuki' thing, hmm, it says it's questions for the Akatsuki members……. That should be good…..", suggested Kisame.

_( copy & paste………. You know the rest……..)_

----------------------- 

_After reading..._

After the group had read that, all chaos broke loose………….

Kisame- " Dei and Sasori, sittin' in a tree…."

Dei- " UN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Itachi- "oh no! I thought I had gotten rid of those fan girls….!"

Leader- " Zetsu! I thought I told you _never_ to tell about my secret sleeping place!"

Zetsu- " I didn't!", "What? Don't you remember talking to those fa-", "Don't!"

Leader- " I _knew_ it!!"

Itachi- " O-R-O-C-H-I-M-A-R-U-! I knew I couldn't trust him…………"

Kisame- " WOW, Itachi, _someone_ sure has a high opinion of himself ….. 'the SEXIEST Akatsuki'?"

Itachi- " Shut up!………………… it's _true_ anyway…….."

Sasori- "……………………………... Deidara is _both_ genders?!"

Dei- "………."

Itachi- " Well, you got paired with Zetsu! HA!"

Kisame- " THERE IS _NO_ RELATIONSHIP BETTWEEN ME AND ZETSU!!!!!"

Zetsu- " You're hurting my feelings!", "Aw, stop bein' such a cry baby!"

Ita- " admit it!"

Kisa- " I DON'T!!!!!"

Zet- " MEANY HEAD!"

Kisa- "Plant Head!"

Zet- " I'm gonna kill you!"

Kisa- " Bring it on, you over-grown Daisy!"

-- Zetsu dives at Kisame, and they start to beat each other to near death--

Sasori- " You blew up my cologne?!"

Dei- " I-I said I was sorry!"

Sasori- " Sorry aint' gonna cut it sista!"

Naruto- " Leader is really BATMAN?! Do your theme song! Dattebayo!"

Leader- " NO! I'm not Batman!"

Naruto- " But-"

Leader- " Just forget it, kid!"

Naru- " NO! I'll NEVER give up until you _SING YOUR THEME SONG!"_

---- Zetsu and Kisame are still brawling it out….------

Dei- " Wahhhhh! The fan girls are coming! The fan girls are coming!"

Leader- " Who is this _'Tobi'_? and why is he getting in the Akatsuki without me seeing first? Who did his initiation?! Deidara!"

Hidan- " JASHIN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

------ Zetsu and Kisame are _still_ fighting------- " WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!"

Hidan- " HAhahaha! Itachi is going BLIND!!! He'll need GLASSES! HA!"

Itachi- " SHUT UP, religious boy! I got more mail than you!"

Tobi- " TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"……………………" everyone stops momentarily to stare at the new comer.

Leader- " SO _you're_ this so called Tobi! Who told you could join Akatsuki!!??"

Tobi- " but, Tobi is a _GOOD_ BOY!"

Leader- " I'll show you!!!! NO ONE gets in unless _I _say so!!!!!!"

Tobi- " Aaaahhhhh!"

-----Leader chases Tobi ( who literally came out of _nowhere_) around, yelling at him----

"………." all the Akatsuki watch Leader chasing Tobi ………… awkward silence………………………………...

Dei- " Ah! FANGIRLS! FANGIRLS! UN!"

---- Zetsu and Kisame go back to hitting each other…. _again_…..--- "and NO ItaxKisa!!!"

Hidan- " JASHIN!!!!!!!!"

Kakuzu- " NO one gets my money! NO ONE!!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!"

Dei- " FANGIRLS HAVE BEEN STEALLING MY CLAY!!!! AH!!!UN!! AH!!!"

Itachi- "…………… KisaxIta……………SasuxIta………….Oh...my...GOD!"

---- you should know what's happening by know………………….---

Itachi- " Hahahahahaha! SasuxOro?! SasuxNaru?! Foolish little brother!!!!!!"

Naruto- " I didn't know Davy Jones was Kisame's uncle………DATTEBAYO!"

--- Leader continues to chase Tobi, yelling " How did you get in?! What ever happened to our security system 'Were-a-bunch-of-S-ranked-criminals-and-we'll-kill-you-if- you-break-in'.!!!!???"--------

Kakuzu- " Sasori! I didn't know you did puppet shows! If you did them for people we charge them money!!!!"

Sasori- " _NO_! I don't do them for the public!!!!"

Kakuzu- " GREEDY!"

Sasori- " Look who's talkin', Buddy!"

Dei- " AHHHHH!!!!!!! fan girls stole my shampoo!!!! UN!"

Itachi- " that's_ my_ shampoo, Deidara!"

Dei- " Ahhhhh! It's the fan girls! They're here! They're HERE!!!! Ok, ok! Gotta clam down Dei, CALM DONW!!! You never saw me, we never met, in fact, I don't even _exist!_ And I never robbed a bank last week!!!!"

------- This is the true meaning of chaos……………… Any confused or disordered collection or state of things; a confused mixture; confusion; disorder. ……….. No, really, it's the definition of chaos! I went on the online dictionary!-------

The whole entire Akatsuki was in an uproar. Diedara was delusional, and thought he was a runaway from the la-… I mean, crazed fan girls. Kisame and Zetsu were beating each other up………….. still. Itachi was, well, um, I don't know……… 'agonizing' over the pairings crisis…….yeah, that sounds good! Hidan was shouting. Kakuzu was trying to convince Sasori to do public puppet shows for money. Leader was chasing Tobi, and Naruto wanted to hear the Batman theme song. Only one member remained unfazed.

Gaara- "…………………that was ………………………. funny ... "

--------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: BE SURE TO THANK FULLMIDGET ALCHEMIST!!!!!! **or else!!!!!!!!! ( i'll sick the fangirls on you!) Hope you enjoyed!!!! This was just the first in a line of random fandom moments!!! HAHAHA! I'll be doing more:

**CH: 7: DVD's**


	7. Chapter 7

Hey! Sorry, I was on a trip…….. with no computer or TV………………………But, I'm back!! ( with a vengeance!) & a bunch of new ideas!!!!!!!!

What happens when they find the world of fandom? Nothing good I can tell you that!

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

Dei-chan is…………………… I donno, boy/girl………………………humph…….

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ch.7: Our Biggest Fan's!!!**

**Part:2:**DVD's

"Hey! Un!!," yelled an overly excited Deidara, " I went to Best Buy and got some DVD's!!!!"

"Deidara," questioned a very upset Kakuzu, " how much money did you spend?"

" Un! I got……. BLEAH, One Piece, Fruits Basket, and Fullmetal Alchemist!! UN!"

"How much money?!?!?!?!"

Everyone crowded around.

" Why did you get those ones?"

"The DVD's were………………… shinny……………."

"………….. o…k………."

" Deidara!! MONEY!! NOW!!!"

" What? The DVD's _are_ shinny!! Shinny is good!!!!!"

" Dattebayo!! SHINNY!!!!!!"

"See? Un?"

"MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Leader entered the room at the sound of the chaos. " What's going on here?"

" Deidara bought shinny DVD's!!!!!!!"

"……………………" Leader stared, with a blank face. " Well?"

"Un………………….."

" Dattebayo………………."

"……………………………..."

Everyone looked around, unsure of what to do next. Leader was still waiting for an answer from the rambunctious crowd, when, all of a sudden, Mr. 'Good Boy' Tobi came, literally, out of nowhere and yelled, " Anime Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There was a brief silence, then, cheers broke out throughout the lair.

"Yah!!"

"UN!!!"

" MONEY!!!!!!!!!"

" YAHOO!!!!!"

" I'm Coo coo for Cocoa Puffs!!"

" Yah!"

"Ok, ok," Leader said, calming them down, " Just put in the DVD's already!"

Deidara rushed over and put in the first DVD to the DVD player. Everyone sat down, with snacks, and got ready for an anime marathon. Kakuzu was still asking Deidara about the money, to no prevail…..

"Ugh! I-give-up-!"

"Hm? Oh, Kakuzu, when did you get here? Un."

"….." all poor Kakuzu could do was stare back. " …. the money. How much money? How much did you spend?!"

"Huh?," Deidara quickly glanced over at the TV, " UN! It's starting!!!"

" The Money!!!!!???????"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!," scolded Tobi, " Be a good boy and don't interrupt during the movie!"

-----------------------------------

Fruits Basket:

After watching the first DVD of Fruits Basket, everyone made an important discovery……………………Deidara is a major Otaku!

" Omigod!!!!!! Black Haru-kun!! Marry me!! Squeeee!!!!!!"

"Hey!", Sasori said, a bit hurt, " W-what about…………………us?"

" Black-kuuuuunnnnn! Un!!! Kyo-kyo! Un! Prince Yuki!!! Un!!"

Sasori looked away, hurt by this sudden otaku-induced rejection. Deidara had always been loyal to him, and him alone………. But now, thanks to this, this……. 'fruit themed' …… shojou……………….lovey-dovey……………………….THING, he was losing her (him?). Deidara skipped merrily over to the DVD player and put in the next DVD in.

------------------------------------

One Piece:

Naruto loved the wackiness of being a pirate! How he longed for that kind of adventure!!! Now, his dreams could be realized!

" I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!! Dattebayo!"

"Um………," stated Gaara, " I thought you wanted to be Hokage….."  
" Oh………………..right…………………," replied Naruto, remembering his original obsession, " Well, that's-o-k-!!!! I'll just be……………..uh, 'King of the Hokages'……..no,………..um……………Aha! I'll be ' Hokage of Pirates'!!!"

" UN!!! Follow your dreams!!! Believe it's true!!! You'll always prevail!!!!!!!"

" Dattebayo!!!!!!!!!"

" Ugh," sighed Leader, " just get on with the marathon….."

--------------------------------------

Fullmetal Alchemist:

" For the sake of Jashin!!!!!!!!! The transmutation circles look like Jashin-sama!!!", yelled a very excited Hidan, " Finally! Someone else cares!!! Religiousness rocks!!!"

" Shut up, Hidan!" yelled a still very annoyed Kakuzu.

"Huh! You're just jealous that your god isn't a circle and triangle!!!"

"…… that makes no since……"

"Oh, doesn't it?"

"Hm, he's got a point, un…."

" What's the point?!"

" Well, you could just be jealous that nothing looks like your god, because it's not a circle and triangle!! UN!"

The argument went on, and on. The poor Leader walked up, and put in the next DVD, all the while murmuring under his breath, " Why? Why, did my evil gang turn out like this?"

-----------------------------------------

BLEACH:

"I………………………..like it." spoke the most unlikely person in Akatsuki.

"R-really, Gaara?" Naruto inquired.

" W-what do you like about it?", the group leaned in, almost afraid of the possible answer.

"Well……………..," started the tanuki, " It has good character-development, an exciting plot and story line. It also introduces a new way of looking at the after-life. There is a good balance of both fighting, and relationships………….and………………………..I just felt left-out…………………….. Everyone else liked something…………………so, I choose this………………………"

Akatsuki stared. Gaara was……………… well, Gaara. That day, there had been excitement, money anxiety, and discovery. Sure, a little harsh words were exchanged, but the important thing is, Akatsuki had become otaku…….

----------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: **Hey!!! Poor Leader……….. Oh!! I've been reading/watching Naruto Shippuden!!!! Bow down to the awesomeness of Shippuden!!!!! It rules! I'm currently at ch. 359, pg.1 ... but my com. stopped working………TT anyway, I'm now back & have lots of ideas!!!! Hahaha!

**Ch.8: Get Their Good Side!**


	8. Chapter 8

Ok, ok. My friend, "Kyotogirl" & I are working on a story about two girls & Akatsuki….It's called "Twin Opposites" & I will be advertising it in this ch.

What happens when they find the world of fandom? Nothing good I can tell you that!

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

Dei-chan is…………………… I donno, boy/girl………………………humph…….

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ch.8: Get their good side!**

**Part:**3, Twin Opposites

The new day was dawning on the Akatsuki's lair. The sun's bright rays shown over the hidden forest, birds sang, and animals went about their business. It was truly a sight to behold, and what, you ask, were the Akatsuki doing on this glorious day?……………………………... Sitting around like a bunch of couch potatoes with eyes their eyes glued to the computer screen!!!!!!

"Wow…….un, this story looks interesting…..un….", spoke a certain blond boy/girl.

"Hmmm………"Twin Opposites" sounds like a girls story. No way am I gonna read it!", replied Sasori.

"Oh, come on! Just listen to the summary: 'Sisters get driven away from their village and meet up with the akatsuki, what happens to the organization when they arrive. Itachi x Oc, Kisame x oc'. Come on!!! It's not about us…. It's all Itachi and Kisame, we're safe! Un!"

"Hmph. I still don't care! Get some girl to read it with you, I'm late for a perm…"

"Well, Fine!!! Un.", complained Deidara, " Meanie-bobeenie-slowbeenie…" he mumbled as she/he went in search for someone who would read the story with him/her.

---------------------

"un………..", Deidara pondered as he/she walked through the lair. " Who would want to read………" Just then, Deidara spotted the 'zombie brothers', as Kisame says, with the door to their room open. Dei-kun peeked inside, and decided to give it a try. "Uh, hey, un!"

"What is it, Dei-chan?!", answered a disturbed Hidan.

"Un, well, I was just wondering, if….."

"Just get on with it!!!!!" snapped Kakuzu.

"Uh………….. You wanna read a story with me?", Deidara asked, putting on the cutest smile he could think of. They duo stared a while, murderous intent in their emotionless eyes. Deidara finally had to look away, it was too much. She ran down the hall, looking for others. He could still here them talking.

"Huh, stupid woman………man………….thing! I'm in the middle of learning Alchemy, for Jashin's sake!!!"

" Why are you even doing that? …………Was I at three hundred thousand, or three hundred thousand one?….Ugh, now I have to start over in counting my money! Huh,……..one……two…….three…"

-----------------------

Diedara continued his quest. To no avail…..

"HEY!!! Zetsu, my buddy, my pall, my friend!!Un"

"Whatever you're selling, we don't want it!!", "How do you know that? I might just want it!", "Well, I sure don't!", "Man, you're so heartless!" argued the plant man. "You know, you should just think of you say before you say it! It hurts!!", " Oh yeah? Well, I- don't - care-!" This lovely conversation lasted about seven more mintues….. That was all Dei-chan could take. She went searching again….

----------------------------

"……………no……………."

"B-but,"

"NO."

" Come on! Un!!" Deidara argued with Gaara.

" I will not!"

" But, Gaa-chan…….."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!!"

"Uhhhhhhh……I need someone to read it with me, don't you know the pain and sorrow of being alone?" He asked pathetically, hoping to appeal to Gaara's better nature.

"…………………………" Gaara thought long and hard about this sad truth. At least, until he remembered how Deidara treated him, then he just left.

"B-but! I thought we were tight!!!Un! Home-skillet- biscuits!!!! M' dawg!!! Best bud!!!!!!UN!"

"PLEASE! You killed me in the anime, not to mention….you sat on me!!!! NOT COOL, Home dawg!!"

------------------------------

Deidara had finally had enough! If nobody was gonna come easy, then he'd have to play hard! She walked into the Akatsuki lunch hall, and prepared to give an announcement.

"Uh um…." he waited for a reply, "UH MH!!!"

"What is it, Deidara?" asked the bemused Leader.

"Well, I have asked almost everyone in Akatsuki to simply sit down for just a wee bit…… and a stinkin' story!!!!! UN!" She now had everyone's attention. "So, if you won't come of your own free will, I'll just have to-"

"Shut up?"

"Give us the gift of friendship?"

" Kill yourself?"

" Run away from here because your fragile heart was broke by our selfishness, and end up living a sad and lonely life of incognito in the small villages of Southern Africa, were one

day you will meet the man…or girl…. Of your dreams and start a family, in which then you will have six kids and have to work over time while still taking care of the family just

to get ends-meat, but then, the stress is too much and you have a heart attack, thus ending your pathetic life and we will all go to your funeral, all sad and regretful that we didn't just read the story?"

Deidara was a bit shocked at last guess, but quickly recovered and finished his statement,

" All wrong, un! I'll have to force you!!!!! Now, either you all read the story, or I'll make the Akatsuki lair my greatest work of art ever!!! And remember………." she left off,

letting everyone feel the tention…. " ART is a _BANG_!!!!!!!!!" Eveyone knew better to

mess with Dei-kun while he was like this, they all read the story……

-------------------------

"Hm, you know, that was pretty good……."

"Yeah, unlike this story, we're not a bunch of maniacs…….."

"They portray us better in there……..that's not fair………"

"……..They……… sniff gave me a name…."

Everyone turned around to see the unknown member staring greatfuly at the name she was given. No one but Leader had ever seen her, so it was a big shock….

"Y-you're………………………………... A GIRL??!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------

**A/N:** Ok, so…………….. Please check out "Twin Opposites" o, I'm the co-writter & doujinshi mangaka (person who draws manga) the link for manga & stuff is on my profile….. Please read it!!!!!!! We need more reviews before we continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Ch.9: All Hallows Eve**


	9. Chapter 9

Join the Akatsuki on a little trick-or-treating……….but what will happen when an unexpected person returns from their past? Find out if they survive Halloween night, or get…………… killed!!!!! Bwahahaha!!!……..ok, they won't die…..but, at least read to see the mysterious person is…….

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

Dei-chan is…………………… I donno, boy/girl ……………………… humph…….IT!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ch.9:All Hallows Eve**

" CANDY!!!!", screamed a blond boy dressed in a hokage's robe. "Dattebayo!!! Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy!!!!!!"

" Shut it, Naruto.", a redhead in a devil suit silenced his friend with a glance. " Why are you dressed as Hokage for Halloween?"

"Well………….. It's all a part of my master scheme!!"

"…………..and what scheme is that?"

"If everybody sees me in this outfit, they'll realize just how good it suites me! Dattebayo!! And once they realize that, then they'll have to make me Hokage!! It's fool proof!"

" I didn't even know they sold Hokage costumes………"

"Well………. I-I didn't steel it from Grandma Tsunade……..or anything…. If that's what you're thinking, b-because that's not it……..dattebayo…"

"It's Satan!!!!!"

The two turned around to see a silver haired man with purple eyes wearing an angle costume staring at them both.

"Naruto!", screamed Hidan, "I thought you defeated him!!!!!!!! It was your mission!!!"

"H-hey….. That's not-" Naruto tried to explain, but was cut off by the 'angle'.

" Prepare yourself, Satan!!!!!"

" What the? Who do you think I am?! It's 'Gaara', I'm Gaara!!!!!!"

Kakuzu walked in, restraining his partner. " Shut up, Hidan!"

" Hey, why aren't you in costume, Kakuzu? Dattebayo?"

"……..It's too expensive."

"Then why are you going trick-or-treating?"

"Well, DUH!!!! FREE candy!!!!"

"What's all this about?", asked Leader. He was with the others. Leader was dressed like someone from MIB, Kisame was a pirate, and Itachi was dressed as Byakuya Kuchiki. Sasori had chosen Pinocchio, while Tobi was a pumpkin. Zetsu was dressed like, surprisingly, Hatsuharu Somah.

" Hey, Tobi………..why are you a pumpkin?" inquired Hidan.

"OH! Well, Tobi thought that if Tobi just sat somewhere for a while, real still, and then suddenly popped out, Tobi could scare a lot of little children!!!!" he announced with a smile.

"………… I thought you were a 'good boy'"

" Tobi _IS_ a good boy!!!! Leader-san said that's what you're _supposed_ to do on Halloween!!!!!"

" Scare little children?"

" Yeah!!!!!"

Everyone looked towards Leader, a blank expression on their faces.

"What? I needed for him to get a bad rep… do you honestly expect us to be feared with him?"

There was a collective murmuring of 'year's among the group. They all turned, to see 'Blue'…………at least, hoping to see Blue. What they really saw was a white bed sheet with a flower on it.

"Hi! I'm ready to go!"

"Uh……Blue, darling……what are you wearing?" Leader asked with a bit of concern.

"What? You can't tell? I'm a ghost!"

"Where are the eye-holes?'

"The what?"

"Oi….."

Naruto finally broke the sympathetic silence, " Zetsu, why are you Haru?"

"Deidara……………..forced me….", "Yeah………….he said I'm perfect for it…..", " Because I can be both Black and White Haru…………", "…………………………One word of advice……………………………… stay on Deidara's good side!………", "_Trust me!!!!_"

" Uh, speaking of Deidara….. Where is he?"

"I'm right here."

Akatsuki looked in horror, at the person standing before them. Why? WHY was this happening?! They thought they had gotten rid of him a long time ago………..but, but this proved different……………._this _was their worst nightmare! Even Gaara seemed to be trembling……………of cores, why wouldn't he? In the percents of …………………… ………………………………...DR. DEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(dun dun DUN!!!!)

"Hello, how does every body _feel_ tonight?"

" Kill, kill, kill, kill……….." mumbled Gaara as Akatsuki got ready to go trick-or-treating. This night was certainly going to be interesting…………..

----------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N:**Don't worry, I'll be doing a part. 2 for the actual trick-or-treating………I just didn't know it would be this long ; eheheheh………..so, I know it's no where near Halloween, but………I just couldn't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy!!!!

THE RETURN OF DR. DEI!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Ch.10: All Hallows Eve, the sequel!**


	10. Chapter 10

Woohoo! The big ONE O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woot!

Join the Akatsuki on a little trick-or-treating……….but what will happen when an unexpected person returns from their past? Find out if they survive Halloween night, or get…………… killed!!!!! Bwahahaha!!!……..ok, they won't die…..but, at least read to see the mysterious person is…….

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

Dei-chan is an…….IT!!!!!( P.S. I KNOW DEIDARA IS A GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!OK?!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ch.10: All Hallow's Eve: the Sequel!!!**

"Ok," Sir Leader announced, " Do you all understand the mission?"

"Get candy! UN!"

"Scare little children!"

" Stuff ourselves full of death-inducing amounts of sugar……."

" …………"

"Hm………………" Leader sighed, " Well, I guess that's good enough, come to think of it, we never really had a plan anyway…………." he mumbled.

"Yosh! Let's go, dattebayo!!!!!!!!!!"

"………..huh…….."

"Whatever…."

---------------------------

---Hidan

Hidan: " Oi! F!#!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give me candy!!!!!!!!!"

Parent: "….Excuse me, young man?!"

Hidan: " Yah, you're excused, now give me my dang candy!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Parent: " I will not let you talk to me in such a manner, you little-"

Hidan: "You think you can tell me what I can and can't do, f#?!"

Parent: " I'm your elder! Respect me!!!!!"

Hidan: " Huh! I bet I'm older than you, #$!"

Parent: " You look only about in your 20's!!"

Hidan: "And you look you're in your pre-death state, but you hear me yellin' it to the world, #$!"

Parent: ( in shock)

Hidan: ( stares)

Parent: ( still shocked)

Hidan: " Give me my D$# candy!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
--------------------------------------

---Blue

Blue: (walking)

Leader: "H-how can you see without any eye-holes in that 'costume'?"

Blue: "……….I can't."

Leader: "But………."

Blue: "…."

Leader: "…huh. Oh, we're at a house, act cute!"

Blue: "Yosh!"

Leader: "uh, yeah, don't do that."

Blue: "Yosh!"

Leader: "………right. Trick or treat!"

Person: " Ooooohhh………here you go!"

Blue: "Thanks!"

----bam!------

Blue: "……."

Person: "I-is………she ok?"

Leader: "I wonder that every day………"

Person: "B-but, she walked into a wall…….."

Leader: "Nya, she'll be fine……."

Person: "B-but……….it's brick………."

Blue: "……..y-yosh………"

Leader:

-------------------------------------------------

-----Dr. Dei!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Dei: Trick-or-treat!

Random person: Oh, hello! would you like some candy, little,...um...girl?

Dr. Dei: Yes please!!!!

Random person: Oh, oh no...I only have two pieces left...

Dr. Dei: And how does that make you _feel_?

Random person: uh, bad, for you kids...I guess...

Dr. Dei: and that makes you _feel_...

Random person : Like a bad person...

Dr. Dei: I see, I see, and how does being a 'bad person' make you feel?

Random person : sniff horrible!!!! Whahahaha!!! I-I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Dei: There, there... I now it's not your fault...easy now...

Random person: sniff, sniff Gee, thanks!!! You are one nice kid!!! Here, take the candy...

Dr. Dei: Why thank you...snickers? I HATE SNICKERS!!!!!!!!!

Random person: I- I'm SORRY, I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Dei: You better be sorry!!! UN!! Now go and get some REAL candy!!!!!!!!

Random person: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok, ok!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------

----Gaara

Grandma: " Here's your candy, little one."

Gaara: "thanks………"

"It's Satan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gaara; "WT-"

Hidan: "PARISH, SATAN!!!!!!!!!!"

Gaara: "You idiot! I'm not Satan!!!"

Hidan: " Parish at the judgment of Jashin!!!!!!!"

Gaara: " HEY! Put that scythe away!!!!!"

Hidan: "For Jaaaashiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gaara: "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!"

-------------------------

---Tobi (is a good boy)

Kid 1: "Hahaha! Look, look! I got a candy bar!!!!!"

Kid 2: "That's nothing! I got a two!!!!!!"

Kid 1: "Hmph! Meanie!"

Kida 2: "Hey! Look, it's a giant pumpkin!!!!!"

Kid 1: " YEAH! I want it!!!!! Come on!!!"

Tobi: "BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kid's : "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mommy, mommy! The pumpkin's alive!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

-----------------------------

--- after trick or treating…………

" So," Leader spoke, "How was tonight? Did everyone have fun?" He inquired as he scanned the mob of teens with candy over.

"I got to scare little children!!!"

" I got some d $ # to give me candy, AND I got to beat up Satan!"

" I got beat up by Hidan…………."

" Some crazy girls kept chasing me yelling 'Byakuchi! Byakuchi!'"

" People screamed," "Yeah, and ran"

" I got a concussion from walking into a brick wall…"

" ………uhg………….."

Leader sat, looking approvingly over them, nodding. " Yup………………I really _am _surrounded by idiots………"

------------------------------------------------------

**A/N:** Well, sorry it took so long; I might not be able to update as much as I'd like to………..Oh! & if you're a Hidan fan or Kakuzu fan or both, can you check out my new story(s) One is called "The Priest" & the other is "Akatsuki rule the Skool!" 

(I know, I'm HORRIBLE with titles………………)

**Ch.11: Family Reunion**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it took so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School, ya know? ;**This was requested by one of my friends soooooo…………….thank Lexi-chan !

Hhhmmmm, is the story worth continuing? I don't know…………………… tell me k?

Dei-chan is an…….IT!!!!!( **P.S. I KNOW DEIDARA IS A GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!OK?!)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned naruto, would I really waste my time on a site for FAN FICTION?!?!!?**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Ch.11: Family reunion**

" Itachi………" a young man with spiked hair spat out disgustedly. He wore an open, white kimono top and black pants, tied together with a purple sash. He fingered his blade with murderous intent, looking at the Uchiha.

"…………….Sasuke…….." Itachi replied.

The two stared each other down, never taking their eyes off one another. Tension was in the air. No one moved.

Itachi stared at his little brother, "…Sasuke……………………." the boy flinching at his name. "………………have you gotten taller?!"

Sasuke stared at this quite, well………."Out-of-character" Itachi.

"Oh! You _have_ gotten taller! My little brother is growing up." he said, measuring his height to his brother's. "Just a few more inches and you'll be as tall as Ni-san!"

Sasuke thought dumbly. The other members of Sasuke's team burst through the entrance to the lair. Seeing Itachi and Sasuke, they ran to his side. 

" Sasuke!"

" We're here…"

" To save you!" they yelled out, making everyone turn to see them standing in ridiculous hero poses.

" WE"

"ARE"

"TEAM….."

After a dramatic pause, they struck new poses and yelled in unison, "HEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

……………….the rest, however, just stared. Until a certain blond yelled out,

" They're funny! UN!"

" Sasuke-kun," Suigetsu grinned , " are these the freaks we get to beat up?"

"Suigetsu?"

Suigetsu turned around to see a tall, shark-like man.

"K-kisame?!" he cried, " Kisame!!!!!!! Look, I have a big sword too!!!"

" Suigetsu!!!!!!! You've really gotten tall! And, hey! Isn't that Zabuza's sword?!?!!?!?!"

" Uh…………….………..nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo……." he lied through his smile.

"…..OK!" Kisame excepted it, not that he really cared either way. Suigetsu went off with Kisame as they started talking about the good old days.

" Remember when we killed that old guy?"

"Oh yeah! That was the best! Ha ha!"

The remaining team members looked back to Sasuke. He was still with his brother, who was determined on measuring just how tall Sasuke was compared to him. The duo stared blankly.

"Uwaaah Sasuke-kun, you and your brother look sooooo cute!" Karin squealed.

"…." Sasuke fixed her with a glare that could freeze fire, but she just thought it was cute, and squealed more.

"So………who's the big guy?" Hidan questioned the last remaining member.

"I am Juugo, nice to meet you, sir." he said solemnly.

"Hm, well, he sure 'aint a freak the other ones….."

"Yeah……he's actually kind of boring…." Sosari added.

"Kill…"

"Huh?"

"KILL!!!!!!!"

Everyone present jumped back from Juugo's sudden out-burst.

"I-I need to….KILL!!! SOMEONE, ANYONE!!!! KILL!"

"HE'S A FREAK!!!!!!!!" Hidan yelled. "Man, the dude has, like, bio-polar disease, or something! It's another Zetsu!!!!!"

All was in uproar. Sasuke and Itachi were having small a family reunion. Suigetsu and Kisame were reminiscing about who they had killed in the past. Karin was clinging to both Sasuke and Itachi, fan-girl squealing. Juugo was chasing Sasori and Hidan around, arguing with himself over which would be first to die.

-------------------------

( after Leader walked in, and saw the chaos, and straitened it out.)

"Ok, everyone!" Leader shouted agitatedly. "WHAT have we learned today?!"

Answers came pouring in.

"Don't poke psychos…."

" Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life."

" Jashin-sama rules you all."

" Bunnies can be deceiving."

" An apple a day keeps the fan-girls away."

Leader smacked his forehead pleadingly. He walked off without any further ado. The Akatsuki and Hebi were left alone. The room was filled with silence.

………………………………...

"………..Does anybody want to see Sasuke's baby pictures?" Itachi inquired cheerily.

"Eeeeeeeee! YES, YES, YES!" Karin dashed over to where Sasuke and Itachi were. Sasuke desperately tried to grab the photos, but to no avail.

"Jump, jump, Sasuke! You're still not as tall as Ni-san!"

"YOU'RE PRUE EVIL!!!" Sasuke yelled in desperation.

Kisame and Suigetsu turned to each other.

"Hey, what about that time when-"

"OH! Yeah, and he was all like-"

"Exactly!"

"Ha ha! Man……"

"the best of times, totally!"

Juugo and Zetsu busied their selves in a quaint conversation.

"So…..kill anyone lately"? Zetsu inquired.

" Oh, ya know… a few here, a few there…."

"Yeah, totally….."

"Uh huh…"

"Yup….."

"……"

"…………"

"KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"KILL!!!!"

The rest watched, amused.

"Hey, Kakuzu, do we any popcorn?"

"No, Hidan! Popcorn coast money, and money is not something that should be spent!"

"What the & are you talking about?!?!?!!? MONEY is ment to be SPENT!!!!!"

"Are you even CRAZIER than I thought you were?!?!"

"NO, I AM PERFECTLY SANE!!!!!"

" COULDA FOOLED ME!"

"&$#&!!"

"Don't you use that tone of voice with me, young man!"

"I'll $ use whatever &$ tone of $!$& voice I $ want to, &&$#(!!!!!"

The remaining Akatsuki which were not in squable, were, well, fascinated at just how much of an uproar four teenagers could cause.

" This is quite the day, huh, Deidara?"

"You betcha' danna!"

"……w-o-w-"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

----------------------------------

(at the end of the day, after Hebi left.)

"Dattebayo! We're back!" Naruto yelled into the Akatsuki cave. "Who missed us?!"

"I know I sure didn't miss these imbeciles……." Gaara murmered aloud.

"OH! Un, Naru-kun, you missed it! Sasu-kun was here!"

"D-dattebayoooooo?!?!?!!?!?!!?"

"YUP! And he told me he's gonna stay as far away from us as ninjaly possible, un!"

"SAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!"

Naruto was out the door, running as fast as a fox kid in an orange jumpsuit could run. Akatsuki stared at him going.

"So………" Gaara said, breaking through the silence. " Wuzup?"

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N:** SORRY, again, for how it took! Writer's block & school don't go hand'n'hand for a fan fiction writer……. ; & I just decided, I kinda felt a little inspired, so it may noit be as good, &, for that too, I apologize!

The part, "COME BAAAAAAACK!!!!" is kind of an inside joke with my friends & I there was this character (hyperactive/paranoid) in an Asian drama that, whenever his spacey/gloomy friend would get knocked out, he'd start shacking him & yelling "COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Trust me, IT IS HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! If I remembered the name of it, I would SO recommend it to you all I can remember is that it had "proposal" in the title.

**CH.12: A shadow revealed… **

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